It doesn’t matter what it is…..only what it looks like!

Like I always say, perception is 9/10 of the law.  How we present and what others perceive us to be determines how we are treated, and what we will get from others. So the purpose of this post is to beg the question….do your insides look like the outside?

I’m sure you have an idea of the image that you portray, confident, smart, sexy or talented. But are the things you believe to be true about yourself consistent with what the rest of the world sees?  I am a very capable, kind compassionate, and fun-loving therapist, but if I walked in a session wearing a suit buttoned up to my nose and gave everyone the evil eye, I doubt that anyone would feel comfortable relating to me enough to share their personal lives.

So often we are frustrated with other people for not treating us the way we feel we should be treated, when in actuality, the image we project is far from what we truly are inside.  Some of you may be sensitive, quiet, and unassuming but for whatever reason you present as loud, obnoxious, and rude.  Unfortunately, you are shocked to find that when others react to you, it is usually unfavorable, which leaves you wondering why people are so mean to you.

We all have a social face that we put on for people outside of those closest to us (and sometime even for them).  But generally speaking, if you gathered 5 different people from 5 different circles in which you are involved, much of what they say should be consistent.  In turn, their words should match how you feel about yourself.  If that is not the case, you need to investigate why you lack authenticity in certain areas of your life.

Example: The lady I sit next to in church, the girl I talk to at work and my child’s teacher should be using similar adjectives to describe me.  And in comparison, I should be using similar adjectives to describe myself.  If you are unclear about how you are perceived, complete this short test with people whom you feel will give you an honest opinion.  Start with your own:

Authenticity Test

1. Answer the question, what are five adjectives I would use to describe myself?
2. Ask individuals from different groups to use five adjectives to describe you from their perspective.
3. Compare notes

This is a very simple test, but one that is very telling as well.  Living an authentic life is not easy.  You have to love and accept yourself enough to expose most of who you are to everyone…flaws and all.  But the fight to appear different from what you actually are can be stressful and is a futile effort. So it’s worth it to be you!

Advice Corner:

1. Take the authenticity test
2. Search within yourself to find areas of inconsistency.  It is likely that there are insecurities lurking close by.
3. Believe the positive things you say about yourself, then act accordingly!

~Be Blessed Coach Jessica

Coach Jessica will be coming soon to You Tube with more advice on many topics!